The following post might contain certain elements that aren’t completely safe for work.  No, there’s no nudity or anything, but it does mention adult-level activities and products.  I wouldn’t want to get my readers in trouble for reading about intimate subjects on the job.  So if you are checking this out from the office, please don’t click the “read more” link below.  Wait until you get home and *then* click read more!  To those of you who are at home, click read more right… about… now!

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With summer a fast-fading memory and winter’s icy temperatures making a couple of pre-launch appearances, outside play time is getting rarer and rarer.  So, when temperatures the past two days were in the 50’s, we took advantage of this “heat wave” and allowed the kids to play out of doors.

Saturday, we went to B’s parents’ house and, while B and her mother went shopping for B’s birthday present, NHL, JSL and I took to the sidewalks.  JSL had his big wheel bike and NHL had his scooter.  NHL tired of the scooter quickly, as it wound up just slowing him down, and decided to hoof it instead.  He would “race” JSL up and down the block with me trailing not too far behind.

One time, as we reached the end of the block, I stopped and called for them to turn around.  NHL kept going which spurred JSL on to follow him.  I called a second time and then, seeing that they were starting to get close to the main road without signs of stopping, went into a full-on run to catch up.  NHL stopped but it looked like JSL wasn’t going to.  As I screamed for JSL to stop (and as someone crossing the street turned around and looked poised to leap into action), NHL quickly jumped in front of his brother’s bike, grabbed the handlebars and forced it to a stop.  I was so proud of him!  (And, needless to say, I didn’t let JSL get too far from me the rest of the weekend as I don’t think I can trust him to stop when I tell him to.)

After some play, NHL decided to head indoors to play Nintendo DS.  (B’s father was inside so he was supervised.)  JSL wasn’t ready to go in, so we walked around the block twice.  Well, I walked, JSL biked.  His little feet pushed those pedals up and down with such expertise that you wouldn’t know that he just figured it out this Spring.

  On the way, we met a nice lady and her dog.  JSL loves dogs, but hates being around them up close.  It might have to do with a dog that knocked him over once.  We (meaning I) chatted with her for a bit, but soon JSL was feeling the urge to bike again and called on me to hurry it up.

On Sunday, the boys and I went food shopping, letting B get some quiet time to do laundry and write articles  for KidsFunPlaza.  When we got home, B had left to do some more shopping with her mother.  After putting the groceries away, we decided to go outside and do some more bike riding.

After going up and down the block a couple of times, the boys started to repeat their “too close to the main road” act from the previous day.  This time I was better prepared and stopped them.  NHL said that he wanted to go around the block (usually, he doesn’t want to do this).  I told him that he needed to ask me first before simply biking off towards a main road.  We went around the block two times again.

As we hit the halfway mark of the second around-the-block trip, I got notification from B that she was headed home.  The race was on.  Would we make it home first?  Or would B, driven by her parents beat us.  The kids pedaled furiously, driven to increase their speed in the hopes of seeing Nana and Papa.  (Oh.  And Mom too.)  As we rounded the final corner and began to go up our street, I looked back and recognized the car making the turn.  It was a race down our street between a car, a bike, a big wheeler and my two feet.  The car won, followed closely by NHL on his bike.  Trailing behind was a fast pedaling JSL and then, bringing up the rear, was me.

By now, NHL was tired and wanted to go inside, but JSL didn’t want to stop.  So B went inside with NHL and I let JSL pedal up and down the block a couple more times before it was time to head indoors.  Sadly, I don’t think we’ll get to repeat these biking excursions too much longer, but there is hope for the Spring.  It looks like JSL might be able to inherit NHL’s bike (graduating from a big wheeler to a training wheel-enabled two wheeler) and NHL might be able to move into a bigger bike (perhaps without training wheels).  Maybe, if we do this, then B and I can get bikes too and we can all go on family biking trips.  I used to love biking when I was a kid and would love to be able to take the boys and bike around our neighborhood.

P.S.  By the way, that neat “blurred background” effect on the first photo?  Done by following JSL with the camera and matching his speed.  No photo editing programs involved!  I tried that with NHL but didn’t get results as nice as with JSL.  I think that’s because NHL goes faster and so it is harder to match his speed just right.

For better or worse, NHL often seems like a mini-TechyDad.  Like me, he loves math and tries to work it into anything he does.  He’s also a natural when it comes to computers.  On the down side, he seems to either focus in on what he wants to do to the exclusion of everything (and everyone) around him or his brain goes a mile a minute and he has trouble staying on task.

NHL does have a big advantage I never had, though.  Whereas I had to come up with strategies to deal with my shortcomings on my own, NHL has me as a resource.  Having personally experienced many of the things he’s going through, I can be there for him and teach him what I’ve learned along the way.

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Does your child strongly resemble (physically, personality, or otherwise) you or your spouse?

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the McLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha #63

When I reviewed Math Rider, I planned on getting NHL to review it as well.  After all, he’s the one who played the game.  I can say it’s great and wonderful and all but if your child doesn’t really like it or want to play it, then there’s not much point, is there?  So I sat down with NHL last night, loaded up Math Rider and let him play while doing a video review.  Here’s the result:

So there you have it.  NHL’s thoughts are “I think everybody should have this game.”  I’m pretty sure that would be a two thumbs up if his thumbs (and the rest of his fingers) weren’t typing out math answers.

Disclaimer: Math Rider provided me with a complimentary copy of the game for review in conjunction with the Family Review Network.  This video post, however, was my own idea.  All of the opinions expressed above (both in the text and video) are mine and NHL’s.

When I reviewed Math Rider, I planned on getting NHL to review it as well.  After all, he’s the one who played the game.  I can say it’s great and wonderful and all but if your child doesn’t really like it or want to play it, then there’s not much point, is there?  So I sat down with NHL last night, loaded up Math Rider and let him play while doing a video review.  Here’s the result:

So there you have it.  NHL’s thoughts are “I think everybody should have this game.”  I’m pretty sure that would be a two thumbs up if his thumbs (and the rest of his fingers) weren’t typing out math answers.

Disclaimer: Math Rider provided me with a complimentary copy of the game for review in conjunction with the Family Review Network.  This video post, however, was my own idea.  All of the opinions expressed above (both in the text and video) are mine and NHL’s.

By now, everyone knows about the eBook on Amazon that caused an uproar.  (Don’t worry, that link only goes to a TechCrunch story about the book.)  I’m not going to refer to it by name, mainly because I don’t want those words linking up to my site in Google.  (I like getting readers on my site, but not readers looking for *that stuff.*)

When people have told Amazon to yank the book, they initially responded with the following statement:

Amazon believes it is censorship not to sell certain books simply because we or others believe their message is objectionable. Amazon does not support or promote hatred or criminal acts, however, we do support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions.

Since then, they have removed the book.  However, some questions seem to linger.  Some comments I’ve seen have referred to this as a First Amendment issue.  Others described Amazon taking the book down (or people advocating the book’s removal) as censorship.  Still more are questioning how a book like this can get on Amazon in the first place.

Let’s start with the First Amendment issue.  Does Amazon’s yanking of the book constitute a violation of the author’s First Amendment rights?  Let’s look at the text of the First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Obviously, the relevant section here is “abridging the freedom of speech.”  At first, it might seem that Amazon might be violating the author’s First Amendment rights, but there’s a catch.  The beginning of the text says “Congress shall make no law….”  The First Amendment is a restriction on Congress and, as court decisions and later Amendments have established, other branches of government.

Last time I checked, Amazon isn’t part of the US government.  Thus, they aren’t bound by the First Amendment.  If you walk into a local supermarket and begin shouting about how much you hate their store, you’re sure to be shown the exit.  This is protected speech, but the store is private property and they are under no obligation to allow you to remain there.  Similarly, Amazon can let people self-publish eBooks on their website, but if they find something objectionable, they are well within their rights to remove it.

When you get right down to it, you’re playing in Amazon’s yard and you have to follow their rules.  This is a good thing. If Amazon was forced to uphold First Amendment rights, would it stop there?  Would other companies be forced to do the same?  Would bloggers be required to keep comments visible and not delete ones they find objectionable?

So the First Amendment doesn’t apply here, but what about censorship?  Surely, taking the book down would be censorship, right?  Not exactly.  Let’s look at the definition of censorship:

Censorship is suppression of speech or other communication which may be considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, or inconvenient to the general body of people as determined by a government, media outlet, or other controlling body.

Amazon clearly isn’t a governmental entity.  Media outlet more generally refers to news organizations (e.g. CNN) and, while Amazon is a very large online shop, they definitely don’t control all online sources.  When you get right down to it, they are just a company that sells stuff and that means they get to decide what they will be selling.

Going back to the local supermarket example, local supermarkets often carry free newspapers or flyers for customers to take.  However, just because they carry these, doesn’t mean they are obligated to carry any and all that are given to them to pass out.  They can object based on a variety of reasons and the author is free to go to try another store.

Stores can also decide which products to carry based on guiding principals.  A Christian book store might refuse to carry Harry Potter books because they think it promotes witchcraft and an organics market might not carry chicken from a non-free-range poultry farm.  Neither of these are instances of censorship.  You might disagree with the reason for the store not carrying the item, but it isn’t a case of censorship.  Now, if the Christian book store got a politician to enact a state-wide ban on all sales of Harry Potter books, *then* you would have a case of censorship!

There’s another thing to consider here.  The topic that the book in question discusses is illegal.  Now, if it was an explanation as to why the author thought this should be legalized I would have gritted my teeth and begrudgingly admitted that the book, while disgusting, was legal.  Instead, this book appeared to have been a “how to” guide.  A lesson in how to do this thing and get away with it.  Amazon is well within their rights to keep this book out of their library just like they might keep “How To Kill A Random Person And Cover It Up” out.

So what about the final question:  How could Amazon let a book like this get on their site to begin with?  Amazon set up their system to allow people to publish their own eBooks.  Amazon doesn’t screen these for content before posting them for the same reason YouTube doesn’t pre-screen all of the videos its users post.  There simply isn’t enough time.  Even if they were to open an entire department, they would need to work constantly to read through each and every book to determine whether it should be allowed.  Remember, not every title would be so obvious.  Some books with “obviously bad” titles might actually wind up being innocuous (though, perhaps, poorly named).  The undertaking would be tremendous.

Of course, when Amazon was alerted to this book’s existence, they shouldn’t have released a “we don’t censor” statement and then pulled the book to no additional statement later on.  Instead, they should have released a statement that they were examining the situation (to help cool everyone down for a bit) and then quickly examined the situation.  Then, after determining that the book was objectionable and possibly illegal, they should have removed it with another statement referring to their policy on such matters.

If anything, I think the main source of frustration was with Amazon’s lack of a response.  In an era when “that’s odd” can inflate into nationwide cries of “boycott!” within an hour, taking a day to act and not releasing a detailed statement on the matter is a very bad PR move.  Other companies should look to Amazon and figure out how they would have acted, had they been in Amazon’s shoes.  Getting policies in place before an incident occurs can help to calm people down and turn them back into customers instead of a screaming mob.

NHL is a big fan of math.  He’ll try to work it into pretty much anything he does.  Working on an art project?  Look for an addition statement to be tacked on somewhere.  Have a few minutes with nothing to do?  He’ll grab a calculator and figure out what 63,492 + 77,315 is.

Unfortunately, he really isn’t being challenged in math this year.  Thanks to his gifted brain, he picks up math concepts nearly instantly.  Other classmates, of course, need reinforcement.  So while the teacher goes over simple addition again, NHL is ready to move onto multiplication and division.  Seriously, he is.  I did some sample multiplication and division with him and he “got it” within seconds, even giving me the answer before I could tell him.  He then asked about fractions when I made an offhand remark about them.  I still think those will be above him, but not for long.

When I was given the opportunity to review Math Rider, I jumped at the chance.  NHL loves using the computer and he loves math, so he was sure to love this.  And man did he love it!  More on this later.

The basic premise is that you are a villager in “Math Land” with your horse Shadow.  Depending on which level you choose, you’ll get one of three missions.  The mission is introduced with drawings and a narrator, but the words are printed underneath.  (Nice side effect of boosting reading skills here.)  After the introductions are over, the mission begins.  For this, the child will need to solve math problems.  They aren’t just displayed on the screen, however.  Instead, your horse is galloping across the lands, racing to reach your goal.  In your way are hurdles with math problems (e.g. 5 + 3) on them.  Typing in the right answer (e.g. makes your horse jump over them.  You can type the answer early.  Shadow is smart enough to jump at the right time.  Type the answer too late, though, and Shadow is forced to stop while the math problem and answer are read aloud.

This alone, would make for a nice game, but Math Rider goes further.  On a Statistics page, you can find out just how well you are doing and which problems are the ones that give you the most trouble.  These problems will also tend to appear more often while Shadow is running, helping to strengthen the child’s math skills.

Of course, being a full-featured math game, Math Rider lets you work with addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.  Each of those can be attempted on “Easy”, “Medium”, or “Advanced” mode, indicating whether the math goes up to 5, 10 or 12.  Finally, multiple riders can be set up so Child 1 can tackle easy addition and keep his statistics separate from Child 2’s advanced multiplication stats.

When NHL began his first mission, getting a magic flower to help his character’s sick mother, he quickly picked up on what he needed to do.  Before long, he was laughing with joy every time he got a problem right.  He was getting most of them right, too, so there was a lot of laughing!  Occasionally, he would get one wrong and he would groan in frustration, mainly at himself for not knowing it, but then he would get it right the next time it came up.

It was interesting watching the program zero in on the math problems that he took the longest to figure out.  Those would wind up appearing more and more so he would quickly pick up on the answers to these.  Confession time: I also tried it out on Advanced Multiplication and messed up on 9 * 12.  Sure enough, 9 * 12 came up quite frequently after this and I knew that it was 108.

If your child is struggling in math, loves math or maybe just needs a source of entertainment that doesn’t involve mindless video game destruction, I would definitely recommend Math Rider.  I, for one, know that NHL will be borrowing my computer quite often to advance his rider into new and exciting quests.

Disclaimer: This post was written for Family Review Network & Math Rider who provided the complimentary product for review in exchange for my honest review.

This past weekend was filled with stress, but Sunday was especially stressful.  I really don’t want to post about the event that caused the stress, but it basically resulted in NHL being sent home from Hebrew school and being confined in his room for nearly the rest of the day.  He was allowed out for meals, bathroom trips, and to do his homework, but not to play.  (At least until after dinner when we allowed him some playtime with his brother.)

To keep the boys separate and prevent one from egging on the other (and because we had dropped him off there before picking NHL up and he refused to leave), B stayed at her parents’ house with JSL for awhile.  That left me in the house alone with NHL.

Now, I’m usually a pretty laid-back kind of guy.  I don’t like stress and will try to avoid it as much as possible.  Despite my avoidance attempts, though, stress all too often finds its way to me.  When it does, I find that I have a few nearly instinctive reactions to it.

Avoidance

My first reaction is the avoid the stress.  This might mean burying myself in work, looking up obscure (and completely meaningless) trivia on Wikipedia, or watching TV shows until my brain is numb.  Basically, I’m preventing my brain from thinking about the stressful event.  It doesn’t help solve the source of the stress, I know, but sometimes I can’t help it.  Something stressful happens and a switch flips in my brain causing me to seek distraction.

Is this successful?  For minor stresses or for stresses that I couldn’t fix if I wanted to, it can be.  Sometimes stress is counter-productive.  If one of the boys is sick but is tucked in bed at the moment, then driving myself to the edge of sanity by worrying about him isn’t helping anyone.  Better that I distract my mind for the short period of time so I can calm down and more rationally think about a course of action.

Problem Solving

I’m a problem solver by nature.  If I see a puzzle in front of me, I want to figure it out and solve it.  If something is going wrong, I want to figure out why and how to correct it.  So, when confronted with a stressful situation, I will sometimes go into problem solver mode and try to figure out a fix.  Of course, if the problem is beyond my abilities to fix, this can wind up just causing more stress.

Eating

This is a bad one, I know, but I do stress-eat.  It isn’t all the time and it usually isn’t much.  (If I stress-eat too much, I feel sick which puts an end to this stress reaction.)  However, yesterday I found myself reaching for the leftover Halloween candy.  After the second mini-candy bar was consumed and my hand went reaching for a third, I dragged myself away.

Clearly, this tactic isn’t a very healthy one both for my body and for the stress-causing event.  If anything, it is only going to put more stress on me the next time I step on the scale.  That’s why I try to redirect myself whenever I find my reactions heading in this direction.  Stress leading me to that bag of chocolate?  Hey, what was the date that Marty McFly landed in the old West in Back To The Future, Part 3?  (September 2nd, 1885 in case you were wondering.  And, yes, I looked it up!)

Baking

This is sort of the mirror image of the stress eating.  Sometimes, instead of eating, I’ll just start cooking something.  In many ways, this is another avoidance tactic.  I’m filling my mind up with ingredient lists, cooking instructions and the like in order to crowd out stressful thoughts.  Still, I often find cooking a very stress-reducing activity.  Yesterday, after pulling away from the candy, I roasted the pumpkin seeds from my first carved pumpkin.  I also grabbed a butternut squash that I had been meaning to cook for awhile and chopped it up along with some apples leftover from our apple picking trip.  Those got tossed into the slow cooker with some dried cranberries, cinnamon and nutmeg.

Maybe this is one of the reasons that I like being the house chef even though I work full-time.  Heading into the kitchen and whipping up a dinner is a welcome stress-reliever after a hard day at work.  Of course, when my culinary creations are met with cries of “We’re eating THAT?!!!”, “I don’t want THAT?!!!”, and “Can I have something else?!!!”, it tends to counter-act the stress-reduction obtained by cooking.

Muscle Spasms

This isn’t really my reaction of choice, but it does happen with varying degrees of seriousness.  It’s almost always the same spot too: the muscle just under my right shoulder blade.  I’ll feel it twitch and hurt as my stress rises.  One time, the muscles in my shoulders, back and neck all spasmed at once with such intensity that I, for hours after the initial pain died down, I found myself walking like Carl Fredricksen.  Obviously, this doesn’t do anything to relieve the stress and only serves to add more stress (as now I’m in physical pain and dealing with stress.)  Unfortunately, this one isn’t something that I am consciously in control of and I can’t simply tell my muscle to relax.

So, how do you react to stress?  Do you eat, bake, use distractions, or do something completely different?  I’d love to hear.  Of course, after talking about stress so much, I feel the urge to look up how many years it has been since Batman was first introduced. (Answer: 71)

On Saturday night, after our first pumpkin carving, we left the kids with B’s parents and had one of those rare, wonderful moments called Date Night.  Somehow, despite repeatedly saying how we should do this more often, we never get around to it.  Illnesses, scheduling conflicts and life in general seem to conspire to limit our date night to a handful of times.

When the prospect of date night is mentioned, I envision going out for a night on the town.  Dinner, maybe dancing.  Definitely someplace elegant that has as small a kids’ menu as possible.  Worries (money, kids, etc) would be tossed out the window for the evening and we would just enjoy each other’s company.

The reality of date night wasn’t *quite* like this.  It started out very nice.  We chose a restaurant we had a coupon for and had a blast.  The food was exceptional and we even saved half of our portions for lunch, thus saving more money.  (Is it bad that I feel old with all of these “saved money” references?)

Afterwards, we decided to shop at a local Hallmark store.  On the way there, we remarked about how some kids looked like they were up to no good.  (Again, “kids these days” reference… I feel OLD!)  The Hallmark store was closed so we went to a local grocery store and stocked up on food essentials.

Wait.  The grocery store?  Our big date night out and the best we could do was dinner and shopping for food?  Where’s the dancing?  Where’s the movie?  Where’s doing something fun together that doesn’t involve a shopping cart and a produce aisle?

During our date supermarket run, I joked that we had forgotten how to date.  We’ve been parents for so long and so focused on running the household smoothly, that I fear we’ve forgotten how to put the “parent” portion of our lives on hold and just be “two adults who are in love with each other” for a few hours.  Our dating life seems in some need of some help.

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Do you go on date nights regularly?  If so, where do you go and what do you do?

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the McLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha #62