Yesterday, the rain held off.  It was the perfect time to catch up on some yard work that needed to be done.  I mowed the lawn, put down some grass seed (our lawn still hasn’t recovered from the burst water pipe last year), trimmed some hedges, and potted some plants we had purchased the previous day.

While I was doing this, the boys were inside with B.  They could have come out, but they don’t like the noise that the lawn mower puts out.  JSL, who came out for a little bit, freaked out that every small flying bug was a bee coming after him.  Besides, I had set up NHL on my computer and he was having a blast playing Angry Birds, Gravity Duck and other games online.

So I had the time to myself.  It was nice.  I had peace and quiet and could think while I lugged heavy bags of dirt or pushed our mower up and down the yard.  I began to enjoy my “Dad’s Day Out” until it hit me.  This *was* the closest thing to a dad’s day out that I’ve had in awhile and I was doing yard work.  Some day out.

I began to think about how I’d rather spend a day out by myself.  Suppose B came up to me and told me that, this coming Sunday, she would take the boys and I could do whatever I wanted.  What would I do?

I don’t have any family or friends here and it often feels like I switch between “Worker Mode” (where I’m in an office all day with little to no social interaction beyond “we need you to do this for us”) straight to “Dad Mode” (where I try to cook meals, take care of my wife and kids, clean up, etc).  If I’m not in “Worker Mode” or “Dad Mode”, who am I?  Who is TechyDad when he’s not coding web sites or being a dad?  I’m not sure I have an answer for that question and it scares me.  I love being a web developer and I love being a dad, I don’t think it is too much to ask to be able to be “just me” from time to time. 

The dream I had last night isn’t helping my mood, either.  I was with B and my parents visiting my grandparents’ grave site.  Only, I didn’t know exactly where it was.  Somehow, I got separated from everyone.  As I tried to find them and the gravesite, they visited the grave and then prepared to leave.  I tried to explain to them (via cell phone) that I still needed to visit the grave, but they told me they’d leave without me if I didn’t get to the car.  Then, B came by to bring me back to the car over my objections.  I was almost in tears over being denied the opportunity to visit my grandparents’ grave when I woke up.

I’m not sure if the dream is somehow related to the “Who am I” feelings from the previous day, but this wouldn’t be the first time that I dreamt about something bothering me.  Between yesterday’s identity crisis and this morning’s bad dream, you’ll excuse me if I’m feeling emotionally on edge today.

Just a quick post to note that I’m closing in on my goal.  I’m a single, solitary pound away from calling this challenge a success.  I suppose I should be happier about this, but I’m not.  Ok, I am happy about it, but it’s not brightening my mood much.  The reason why will be clear in my next post.  Here’s hoping my mood lightens more so I can celebrate next week when (crossing fingers) I hit 185.

NHL used to be such a good eater.  He would order pizza with broccoli and mushrooms.  Not because we promised him dessert, mind you, but because he liked broccoli and mushrooms.  Then he would proceed to eat every veggie and fungal item on his plate.  He also once wanted a taste of some spicy vegetarian chili I had ordered.  I wavered, afraid to give him spicy foods, but he liked it.  He wanted another bit and another and another.

Sometime around three or four, though, his culinary horizons collapsed inward.  Suddenly, vegetables were avoided and spicy was shunned.  About the only healthy thing he would eat was fruit.  We would implore him to eat veggies to no avail.  We tried sneaking them in, but he kept finding us out.  He, sadly, inherited stubbornness from somewhere.  (*whistles innocently*)

Recently, though, he appears to be rediscovering the joy of trying new foods.  He fell in love with broccoli awhile ago, but, on one of our rare trips to McDonald’s, he decided to try BBQ sauce on his chicken nuggets.  He loved it.  That led him to try the sweet and sour sauce that came with his “Chinese chicken nuggets” (our code name for “Sweet and Sour Chicken”).  He loved that too.  This from the kid that once refused anything that contained any kind of “sauce.”  (The lone exception being pizza.)

The most surprising, though, came a few days ago.  We were trying Green Giant’s Simply Steam Brussels Sprouts with Butter Sauce.  NHL looked at the green orbs on our plate and asked to try it.  I’ll admit, I was conflicted.  On one hand, how could I say no to a kid asking to try brussels sprouts?  On the other hand, it’s brussels sprouts!  What’s the likelihood that he would like it?

He didn’t just like it, he loved it!  He ate about a third of the package by himself.  Now, if he sees us take out a package, he asked for some.  He’s even identified them fresh in the supermarket and has asked for me to make them.  (I know that poorly made brussels sprouts can taste bad, so I’m not sure how brave I am making them just yet.)

Now, if only he could help us convince JSL to eat veggies instead of asking for Mac and Cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Does you and/or your child eat vegetables?  If so, what kinds of veggies are your and/or your child’s favorites?

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the McLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha #88

When NHL turned four years old, my parents bought him a camera for his birthday.  No, not a DSLR or even a cheap point and shoot  This was a Fisher Price Kid Tough digital camera.

The entire camera was designed with kids in mind.  There were two handgrips (for better grips), two eye pieces (since kids might not get “squint and look here”), and the whole thing was rugged enough to survive a drop down a flight of stairs.  NHL had a blast taking photos of everything in his sight.  (So much so that we quickly realized ground rules were needed like “No taking photos of Mommy and Daddy when they are on the potty!”)

Eventually, his attention was diverted by other toys and the camera found its way to the Heap Of Rarely Played With Toys.  At some point, JSL took an interest in this camera, but there was a problem.  No matter how often I put a fresh set of batteries in, it would only work for a brief period of time before dying again.

During our Disney World trip, JSL began asking for a camera.  What began as an occasional request quickly ramped up.  In fact, as I waited in line at Epcot’s photo center (to get some photos added to our Photo Pass card), JSL went berserk.  There, right in front of him, was a display of Disney-themed kids cameras.  He wanted one and he wanted one NOW!

Somehow, we held him off until his birthday.  That’s when he got this:

That would be his new V-Tech Kidizoom Plus.  It is a 2MP camera, does video, adds special effects to photos and more.  If anything, it’s a little too complex for JSL so we’re trying to limit him to just photos.

He’s now hooked on taking photos.  Here’s a small selection of his work.

Don’t feel bad for NHL, though.  He’s inherited my old camera with the broken flash.  Well, perhaps not “inherited”, but rather “will be allowed to use on a heavily supervised basis.”

If the weather holds out this weekend, perhaps I’ll be able to take the boys on a photo shoot.  I’ve got my eyes on a photography exercise that Chookooloonks posted about.  I’ll take them outside, walk 100 paces and have them take 20 photos of things right around them.

If you could go on a photo shoot with your kids, where would you go?

When I first heard of Skunked, I’ll admit, I was expecting some kind of odorous twist to the game.  Instead, I found out that Skunked looks like this:

Game play is quite simple.  Each player rolls the dice and records their score.  As you roll again and again, you add to your score until you either decide to stop or you roll a one.  If you stop, that round’s total is added to your score.  However, if you roll a one, then your score that round is reset to zero and you must put a chip in the pot.  Beware of double-ones.  That will reset your entire game’s score to zero.  Just to add insult to injury, you’ll need to toss four chips in the pot.

If a player reaches (or exceeds) 100, then the game turns into a high score competition.  Each player must match or top the high score on their next turn or they are eliminated.  The last player standing gets all the chips in the pot.  The player with the most chips after three games wins.

B and I played this one night and it was quite enjoyable.  Being a geek, I kept score with a spreadsheet program.  It let me add up multiple rows quickly and tally up total game scores.  (It was late and I wanted to give my brain a rest from math.)  We had fun trying to keep rolling higher and higher scores without hitting the dreaded one.  (Yes, I hit a double-one once, but luckily it was on my first roll of a game so my score went down to zero FROM zero!)

This is definitely a game that I would play again.  In fact, I might try playing this with NHL next time.  (JSL could easily roll the dice but is too young to understand the scoring portion.)  In fact, I think the fun factor of this game would only increase the more players you add.

Disclaimer: This post was written for Family Review Network & Marina Games
who provided the complimentary product for review in exchange for my honest opinions.

This weekend, JSL turned four.  This meant a birthday party which, of course, meant a trial of my willpower.  Now, my willpower can sometimes stay strong, but not during an event like this.  I’ll admit that I didn’t track my points over this past weekend.  And when I don’t track my points, I slip and eat more than I should.  Of course, this leads to weight gain.  I take a step back to 189.5 but I’m not giving up.  I’m still a stone’s throw from my goal weight and only three weeks to go.

There might not be any celebrations coming up to sabotage my weight loss, but something else is lurking: stress.  I’m not good about handling stress (as I’ve mentioned in the past).  I don’t have a big circle of offline friends to talk things over with and online friends can only help so much.  Talking with B helps, but if the topic is something we both are stressing over then the stress tends to fester.

When the stress festers, I think less of the pounds on the scale.  It’s not so much that I turn to food for comfort as I cease to care.  I’m worried about more important things so what does it matter if I stuff a handful of peanuts down my throat?  I’m fretting about big items so why should I care about how many points this snack has?

Right now, the stress is festering.  I want to scream about everything that’s going on, but the circumstances surrounding the stress don’t make that a possibility.  I can say that it involves NHL’s education, though.  Right now, the best I can do is try to keep the stress from overwhelming me.  Deep calming breaths and distracting work seem like the best prescription to avoid a binge.

Dear JSL,

Today, you turn four years old.  It seems like only yesterday that B woke me up, the  Monday after Mother’s Day, telling me that you were on your way.  That day was filled with a lot of hurrying.  Aunt S & Mimi hurried to pick up your brother.  My parents (Bubbe and Grandpa) hurried to make the drive to see you.  Mommy’s parents (Nana and Papa), meanwhile, hurried to join us in the hospital.

Before we knew it, you were born and we all instantly fell in love with you.  Your brother came over, said hi to you and gave you a kiss like he had known you for years.  As you grew, you would always look up to him and would try to do the things that he, as a bigger kid, could do.  Sometimes you succeeded, sometimes you fell flat on your face.  But you kept trying to be just like your big brother.

When we went to Disney World, it was fun to watch your reactions to the costumed characters go from horror to delight.  (Ok, the horror wasn’t so much fun, but the delight was.)  You would have probably been happy if Disney World consisted of only the Winnie the Pooh and Small World rides.  Add in all the rest, though, and you and your brother were in love.  We had created some Neurotic Disney Kids!

You’ve scared your mother and me many times with your many febrile seizures and falls.  We have seriously considered wrapping you in bubble wrap or hockey goalie padding/helmet more than once.  When you decide on which record of your brother’s to break next, please avoid ones such as “Most Ambulance Trips” or “Most Days In A Hospital” and look to ones like “Best Grades” or “Quickest Room Cleaning.”

As you began talking, we found your speech to be very cute.  Unfortunately, those dropped sounds that began as cute became frustrating.  You knew what you were talking to us about and couldn’t understand why we were having trouble deciphering what you were saying.  Luckily, you are now getting speech therapy and we understand you much more often.  There’s still the odd moment where we just don’t get what you are saying, but since the problem has been identified we can calmly work out what you mean.

Every day as I go to work, you insist on hugging and kissing me goodbye (and then closing the door behind me).  I look forward to your “welcome home” hugs/kisses when I return.  You are always there to help me, Mommy, or anyone else.  You are, as you put it, “everybody’s helper.”  I also love tickling you because I just can’t get enough of your laughter.  (Fair warning: There will be plenty of birthday tickling.  In fact, I might just tickle you as I read you this.)

You love playing on the playground (especially the swings), puzzles, watching TV with me, Buzz Lightyear, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, superheroes, and macaroni and cheese.  Despite how some people might assign gender roles, you also love Tinkerbell.  When we went to Disney World for the 2011 Social Media Moms Celebration, I was the only dad on the line with two boys and no girls.  It didn’t matter, though, because my sons got to meet the famous fairy in person!

Though I don’t want you to grow up (you’ll always be my little boy no matter how big you get), I’m also excited to see all the new things you’ll learn in the coming year.  We all love you very much.  Happy birthday, JSL!

I’ve been itching to write about this for awhile, but wanted to wait while we assessed our options.  (Besides, B already wrote about this last week, so I figured it was high time I address it.)  On Thursday, April 28th, NHL was punched in the stomach by another student in his 2nd grade class.  NHL was sent to the nurse with bruises on his stomach/ribs.

One interesting wrinkle to this story was NHL’s reaction.  While in the nurse’s office, he was crying, sad that he had upset the child and had hurt his feelings.  NHL blamed himself for the bullying incident even though he had done nothing that warranted a punch in the ribs.  He even, over that weekend, listed the child as his friend.  Yes, the kid that punched him in the ribs was still a friend to NHL.

As you may recall, I was bullied a lot when I was growing up.  One incident in particular happened in middle school  At the risk of retelling a story I’ve blogged about before, I only had one person that I considered my friend at the time.  That was RH.

The only problem with RH being my friend was that he would stab me in the back.  Literally.  With a pen.  He would bully me for awhile and then would play the victim, claiming that he had heard from a third person that I had said something bad about him.  Then we would be friends again until he decided to bully me again.

Why did I keep taking him back as a friend when he kept bullying me?  Simple.  I felt like I had no other friends.  If I admitted to myself that RH wasn’t my friend, I was left friendless.  At the time, a horrible friend seemed better than no friend at all.  It scared me to see this scenario playing out again in NHL’s school.

Then, in a display of good timing, I saw a tweet from @sociallysmart (aka Corinne Gregory) about the covering up of bullying incidents.  To summarize the article (which is a must read for all parents), school administrators across the country are turning a blind eye to bullying because it makes them look bad if they admit there is a problem.  Of course, this is a case of short term gain-long term loss.  What the school administrators gain in the short term (saving face and avoiding bad PR), the kids lose in the long term (higher incidence of bullying with little to no consequences).

The only solution is for parents to know their (and their children’s) rights and stand up for them.  It might be tough to do at times, but it is essential for our children’s well being.

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Have you or your child ever been bullied by someone you/they considered a friend?  How did you/they react?

Also, don’t forget to enter my Aerobie Sprint Flying Ring giveaway.  It’s ending in four days and has a very low amount of entries (as I write this).

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the McLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha #87

Today, over on TheAngelForever.com, B is recounting the story of her mom field trip with Christina from CutestKidEver to see Rene Syler (aka Good Enough Mother).  But what of the flip side?  What did the boys and I do while B went on her road trip?  Well, the boys and I had our own fun times.

As you may remember, I was undecided on whether or not I should go to Free Comic Day.  After B left, I made my decision: We were going.  I armed the kids with their Green Lantern rings from our Green Lantern party, got them into the car and headed over to Zombie Planet.

I had heard that the 501st, a group of Star Wars fans who dress up like Stormtroopers, would be there.  NHL was excited to see “costumes.”  Ever since Disney, he’s gone costume-crazy.  He must meet (and get his photo with) any costumed character who is anywhere near him.  He was not disappointed.

We got out of the car and there, in front of the store, was a single Stormtrooper.  He was joined by a Tusken Raider.

The Tusken Raider would occasionally make a growling sound (like the one that the movie Tusken Raider made as he stood over Luke Skywalker).  This scared NHL off from getting his photo taken with the Tusken Raider.  So we went indoors and proceeded upstairs to the free comics section.

Unlike last year, when it was “take as many as you like”, there was a 5 comic per person limit.  I had gone online the previous days to Free Comic Book Day’s website to see which comics would be available.  This meant that I knew just which comics were the best for my boys and which should be skipped.  The only complaints from the boys came when NHL looked out the window and spied Spider-Man.  He insisted that we *HAD* to go outside right now to meet the web slinger.

I explained to NHL that we needed to check out (even we had nothing that we were being charged for).  Besides, I had brought some Phineas and Ferb action figures that needed peg stands.  I hoped that the comic shop would be able to help.  (Sadly, they didn’t have what I needed.)

Finally, we left the comic shop and NHL immediately approached Spider-Man for a photo.

Then, I made a Geeky Daddy decision.  NHL was wearing a Green Lantern ring.  Green Lanterns Hal Jordon was supposedly “born without fear.”  So I couldn’t very well let him leave afraid of the Tusken Raider, could I?  I’d have been deducted 30 Geek Points!

I spoke with him about it and he finally agreed to get his photo taken.

After that, we headed home for lunch and some comic book reading.

Once the boys were fed, I decided that it was too nice of a day to be couped up indoors.  So we grabbed some of our colossal cannons and headed out to play.

Eventually, NHL had a bright idea.  His great-grandmother had given them some butterfly nets, but NHL thought they’d make great colossal cannon disc catching nets.  And they did!

Our next door neighbor’s daughter, N, also came over and played with the boys for quite awhile.  Eventually, they tired of chasing after green discs and wanted to play with bubbles.  Cue the Winnie the Pooh bubble blower!

They also wanted to play with chalk and I eventually relented.

I noticed the skies were getting dark and warned the boys that we might have to go inside soon.  Besides, B’s return time was getting closer and closer.

As B pulled up, I hurredly gathered the chalk and got the boys (and N) off our driveway.  The boys said goodbye to N and hello to B.  Then, as we walked in, the heavens opened up.  Perfect timing!

The boys and I had a fun day together and B had a nice Mommy Road Trip.  I’d call that a win all around!

Yes, this is cheating on the whole “wordless” thing, but I wanted a quick intro.  On Sunday, we went to the circus.  We had a blast and, of course, I took a ton of photos.  Here are a few.  Click on them to see larger versions.