An Embarrassing Tale On The Lake

Last weekend, we went to the lake.  I wrote about that a bit, but there was one thing I didn’t write about.  An embarrassing incident of mine.  Thankfully, what is embarrassing often makes good blog fodder.

During the boat trip, Cousin A first jumped out of the boat for a bit of water skiing.

water-skiing

The kids were in awe as he bounded on top of the water seemingly effortlessly.  He made it look so easy.  Still, I remarked that there’s no way I’d do that.  I’m way too uncoordinated for such an activity.  I’d probably somehow wind up upside down or tangled in the rope.  Don’t tell me that’s impossible.  I’d find a way.

Cousin A even proved to us that he doesn’t need two skis.  He went up on a single ski.

one-ski

After this, we decided to take a dip in the lake.  First, we got to a nice sandy spot that was shallow enough for the kids to walk (though they kept their life jackets on).  Some people jumped in.  Some carefully slid in.  Me?  Well….

First, I need to back up a bit and describe the boat.  This was a new boat that Uncle M had bought.  It has three pontoons underneath it which helps keep it from capsizing.  (That actually almost happened to us on the last boat which only had two pontoons.)  The pontoons extend just past the front of the boat and curve upwards a bit.

As I slowly edged towards the end of the boat, deciding to carefully slid in, I noticed something was wrong.  My swimsuit was snagged on the pontoon.  No problem, I thought, I’ll just unhook it.  Unfortunately, at that exact moment, I also realized that my weight was shifted too far off the boat.  Gravity was in play and I was going in the water.

As the top half of my body went down, my snagged swim trunks kept the lower half of me in the air.  I hit the water hard, back-of-the-head-first.  Mercifully, my swimsuit didn’t rip, yank off, or stay lodged keeping my head under water.  Instead, it came loose and my lower half slammed into the water a split second later.  I sunk to the bottom (about four feet down), reoriented myself, and kicked back to the surface.

I wasn’t hurt badly, just a little bruise on the back of my leg.  I was more embarrassed than anything.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, though, it’s "When you’re embarrassed, laugh at yourself."  I immediately joked to everyone that THIS was exactly why I wouldn’t be water skiing anytime soon.  After all, why would I get on skis behind a moving boat when I can’t even get off a stopped one safely?

The rest of the trip was a lot of fun, but every time my leg ached, I’d quietly relive the embarrassing moment again.

Have you ever been publicly embarrassed?  What was your reaction?

Backup Often… But Not Too Often!

This past weekend was a busy one.  It all started on Saturday night.  I came home to find an e-mail in my inbox alerting me to a problem with my dedicated server.  It seems as though TechyDad.com had somehow filled up the partition by growing to 44GB large!

Now, TechyDad.com (along with TheAngelForever and the other sites I run) don’t usually take up that much room.  Not nearly that much.  I began performing some backups and looking at some old databases that might be taking up the extra space.  At first, I couldn’t find anything.

Then, I located it.  The directory where I backed up my mySQL databases was about 39GB large.  As I looked through the directory, I realized what went wrong.  The previous day, I had noticed that my daily backup routine was failing to e-mail me the file.  Thinking that it might be the size of the backups, I altered which databases were backed up.  Then, realizing that I’d need to wait a day to see the results, I set the backup to occur every 15 minutes.

Then, I made my big mistake: I got distracted.  Other matters came up and I forgot all about testing the backups.  But the backups didn’t forget.  They kept going.  Every 15 minutes they would complete another backup.  Every hour, 4 backups would be done.  In no time at all, megabytes of backups turned into gigabytes until the entire disk was flooded.

Thankfully, once the server was running properly again (thanks to plenty of help from a friend of mine), fixing the root cause was easy.  I set the backups to run once a day and I deleted the extra backup files.  Before long, we were back to normal operations.

There are three lessons to be learned here.  First, everyone messes up, including Techy Dads.  Second, backup often… but not too often.  And third, don’t get distracted when you’re doing important work!

Aloha Friday: Wardrobe Malfunction

zipperA couple of days ago, I had a very embarrassing moment.  One of those moments where you begin to panic that, if people find out what happened, they’ll give you grief about it for years to come.  So, of course, I’m blogging about it!

I was at work and had just finished with an important meeting.  It had run a bit long and I had drunk a bit too much water to drink so off to the restroom I went.  I locked the door behind me and tried to unzip my pants.  That’s when my zipper came off.  I don’t mean just the "pull tab" portion of the zipper, but the whole zipper "mechanism."

I tried to get it back on my pants, but could only get one side of it back on.  In a panic, I texted B from the bathroom to inform her of my plight.  Apparently, it gave her and her mother quite the good laugh.  (Even in my panicked state, I didn’t take offense to this.  They were dealing with JSL puking up medicine while running a 102 fever after a DTAP vaccine.  They needed a laugh.)  Since B couldn’t help me and since the zipper obviously wasn’t going to get fixed then and there, I weighed my options.

I could walk out with my dress shirt untucked from my pants.  This would cover any embarrassing open zipper moments, but it would draw more attention since I never wear my shirt like that.  I could walk out with my zipper open, hope that nobody noticed, and keep on working, but I was sure it would pop open at the most embarrassing moment possible.  (Lady Luck didn’t seem to be on my side at the moment as much as playing practical jokes on me.)

Finally, I tucked my shirt in my pants (so if I did have more of a "wardrobe malfunction", people would only see my tucked in shirt), tightened my belt as much as possible (to keep my pants in place), steeled my nerve, and exited the bathroom.  Then, I walked to my boss’ office and let him know I needed to head home early lest I flash the office.  (Just to add insult to injury, I had to walk to my car in a downpour hoping that the work bag I held in front of me would shield my broken zipper from the world.)

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Have you ever had an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction?  If so, how did you handle it?

Disclaimer: The "zipper" image above comes from OpenClipArt.org.

P.S. If you haven’t already, try out my Twitter applications: FollowerHQ and Rout.


Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the linky there if you are participating.

Aloha Friday by Kailani at An Island Life

Aloha #141

TechyDad and the No Good, Horrible, Rotten Day

Today was not my best day.  In fact, it was filled with FAIL after FAIL.  It started off promising enough.  I got NHL ready for school and myself ready for a day of training.  I dropped NHL off and began into work.  Halfway to work, I snapped out of “auto-pilot” mode realizing that I wasn’t going to my office today.  I was going to training!  And training was in the exact opposite direction.  Note: Face-palming while driving is *not* recommended.

After I got to training, things looked up.  I arrived on time and the training session was going well.  Then we broke for lunch and I went with my boss to a local sub place.  Exiting his car, I happened to look down at my two brown shoes.  My two MISMATCHED brown shoes.  I was mortified but resolved not to mention a word lest I suffer more embarrassment.  Instead, I went out of my way to (as subtly as possible) make sure both shoes weren’t in his field of vision at the same time.

At one point during the day, I had needed a password for a site.  Now, I usually carry around a USB flash drive with passwords and some other documents.  So I plugged that in and got my password.  After I arrived home, I realized that I couldn’t remember putting the flash drive away.  Yes, I had forgotten the drive at the training center.  I called and they were closed for the day.  I was able to reach my account representative who said he’d put it aside for me.

So, after all of that stress, I’m looking at the big To-Do list of things I should get done tonight and thinking “I *really* want to just veg out with some Kirby’s Epic Yarn until it’s time for bed.”  I think I’ll justify it by saying that any development work or housework I do tonight is potentially cursed.  Who knows?  I might delete the database instead of copying it or drop the dishes while trying to load the dishwasher.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is better.

Embarrassing Pooltime Antics

NHL has been getting swim lessons, but unfortunately things haven’t been going too “swimmingly.”  During the first swim lesson, during which B accompanied him, NHL didn’t get into the pool until the very end.  So this time we went prepared.  B’s parents took NHL and I went along with them.  Under my clothes, I had my bathing suit on so I’d be ready to jump into the pool.

Things started out well enough.  We got to the pool early and walked around for a bit.  Then we got NHL changed (easily done since his swimsuit was on under his pants).  After a short wait, it was pool time.  NHL went with his teacher while B and I followed the other parents into the “parents’ viewing room.”  This room was right next to the pool room and had a nice big window so all of the parents could see what was going on.  Every single parent there could see exactly what was happening in the pool.  Remember that.

All of the kids sat down by the pool while the teacher got into the water.  They had these little stands in the pool so that the water wouldn’t be too deep for the children to stand in.  One by one the children got into the water.  Well, one by one minus one: NHL.  He didn’t get in.  We couldn’t hear what his teacher was saying to him, but I could see that she was using every trick in her book to convince him to get in the water.  When dealing with NHL, though, you can have an encyclopedia and it won’t be enough.  He refused and eventually, we could see that the lesson was continuing without him.

Now, we didn’t pay for “sit by the pool” lessons, so we knew it was time to act.  I went in (with B behind me) and tried my best to get him into the pool.  When that didn’t work, I took NHL over to B and she tried.  No go.  We decided it was time for me to jump into the situation, literally.

I got changed in a nearby locker room.  (Side note: Does it show how geeky I am that I felt like a superhero, pulling off my clothes to reveal my suit underneath? )  Then, I went back to the pool with NHL while B went back to the parents’ room.  You know, the one with the big glass window.  You haven’t forgotten that, have you?  Just checking.

At first, I just put my feet in the water and tried to get NHL to go in first.  When it became obvious that he wasn’t budging, I sighed and jumped into the water.  Then I grabbed NHL and pulled him in.  That’s when things got “fun.”  He completely freaked out.  Instead of just standing on the platform, he grabbed my shirt (I wasn’t going topless in front of all of those parents).  His legs wrapped around my suit and pushed down.  He had a death grip on me and was screaming at the top of his lungs.

Now my suit stays on just fine usually, but it doesn’t tie tight at all.  The force of his legs pushing on my suit was enough that I could feel the suit slipping down.  If I didn’t take action, I’d be showing much too much TechyDad to the parents!!!  I let go of NHL (his deathgrip was more than enough to keep him on me and not in the water) and fixed my suit.  After that, I managed to push NHL onto the platform.  Crisis #1 averted!

After awhile, he was calm enough to watch the other kids and not grip onto me.  Still, I had to be behind him holding him or he’s start to freak out again.  And anytime water splashed near or in his eyes, he’d get upset.  He also wouldn’t participate in the floating or kicking practices.  So we were now paying for “stand in the pool” lessons.

Finally, it was “wind down” time and the teacher took him out of the pool.  Of course, I was still in the pool.  I decided that I should get out too so I looked for an exit.  One problem: NHL’s isn’t the only class.  In fact, there are so many classes going on that the pool becomes packed with kids and teachers.  It was all I could do to not interrupt another lesson, forget about actually getting out.  So there I stood in the pool feeling like a fool with all of the parents watching through the glass.

At last, his teacher got out of the pool too and I saw an opening.  I got out and took NHL to the locker room to get changed.  This is where I encountered the next embarrassing item.  (And this one is all my fault.)  I have a few pairs of underwear that B and I purchased for laughs.  Joe Boxer type boxers with funny sayings on them.  The only reason that I feel comfortable wearing them is that I know that B is the only one who will see me in them.

Unfortunately, that day I wasn’t wearing “plain white” boxers, but was wearing a pair that said “horny devil” (complete with cartoon devils all over them).  When I got changed at home to get ready for the pool, guess which boxers got put into my clothes bag?  You got it.  So there I am in the small lockerroom in front of lots of other parents.  I’m the only parent changing back into his clothes… and I’m putting on “horny devil” underpants on.  I tried to do it as discretely as possible, using the towel as a shield, but of course towels shift and jeans don’t go on as quickly as you’d like in situations like this.  Mental note: Next time be sure to wear plain white boxers on pool day!

All in all pool day was a ton of fun that I just can’t wait to repeat.  (Note the sarcasm dripping more than a bathing suit fresh from a pool.)