The day after Yom Kippur, we were deciding what to do with the boys.  NHL had off from Hebrew School, so this was a rare opportunity to do something fun the whole day.  We started it off by going apple picking.  Perhaps it was the Irene and Lee rains or perhaps it was the freakish 80 degree day (resulting in shorts instead of our usual apple picking pants), but we didn’t have as much fun.  The apples didn’t look as good and we got tired quicker.  After much complaining, we called it a day and headed out.  Of course, being hot and tired didn’t stop us from picking 39 pounds of apples.  Yes, THIRTY NINE POUNDS!  Much slow cooker apple sauce will be made.

(As usual, click on the photos to enlarge them.)

After apple picking, the boys were tired and thirsty.  We considered going for ice cream, but every place was too crowded.  Besides, the apple orchard had affected B’s breathing.  (Which was already impacted from recovering from being sick.)  We needed a nice spot to relax for a few hours and B’s parents’ house got chosen.

After a short rest, NHL wanted to do something.  B and I considered it and we came up with going on a leaf-photography trip together.  First, we went home and dropped off the apples.  (This is when I weighed them too.)  I got NHL’s camera and off we went.

First stop was back to B’s parents’ house to drop off the car.  Then, we began walking.  As we walked, we talked and occasionally took photos of interesting things that we saw.

Despite the warm weather, there was no denying fall was in the air.

Eventually, we reached our destination: A local pond.  As I had guessed, the ducks were spending some time by the shore.

NHL spotted a small playground nearby and I let him play there for a bit.  Then, we went back to taking photos.

It was nice spending some quiet time bonding with NHL and he did me proud by spotting some nice shots.

Before long, though, a mistake I made prior to us leaving caught up with us.  I had forgotten to get NHL to go to the bathroom.  We had no car, there was no bathroom at the pond and we had a good 10 minute walk back to B’s parents’ house.  NHL held it in and didn’t complain much as we walked back.

Along the way, we spotted landmarks, like the stairs where we saw a chipmunk hop by as we had walked to the pond.

As we got closer, NHL was definitely slowing down more and getting a bit more cranky (as any tired, potty-emergency-stricken kid might be).  Still, he had moments when he’d ask me to take a photo.  Like of this tree that he thought looked like a monster.

In the end, we made it back.  We had a great time, made some great memories, and have some great photos to boot.  I need to take more of these walking trips with NHL before the snow begins to fall.

As you read this, B and I will be enjoying time in Disney World to celebrate our 10th anniversary.  (This post has been scheduled, however.  Therefore, as I write this, our trip hasn’t begun yet.)  Meanwhile, my boys will be (hopefully) enjoying time with my parents.  Yes, we will be spending 5 days without our kids.  This will be the longest that we’ll both be away from them.  (The second longest was BlogHer last year.)  Part of us will surely be missing them being sweet, cute, and/or excited, but this time will be spent relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. 

The above words were written as we planned for a wonderful 10th anniversary trip in Disney without the kids.  Instead, Hurricane Irene hit.  Our original plan was to drive to my parents’ house on Sunday, stay until Tuesday and then fly out leaving my parents in charge of the kids.

Let me repeat part of that.  The original plan was to drive to my parents’ house on Sunday.  My parents’ house on Long Island.  My parents’ house on Long Island that Irene was bearing down on.  Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen.

Then, we decided to wait for Monday to see whether we should cancel or go.   However, attempting to plan for two very different scenarios (stuck at home for a week or away from home for a week) was too stressful.  Plus, if we lost power, we might not be *able* to cancel in time.  We finally decided to cancel and focus on staying safe until Irene passed.

Thankfully, both Disney and Southwest Airlines were great about refunding our money (Disney) and giving us credit for another plane trip (Southwest).  Hopefully, we’ll get a chance to take a sans kid romantic vacation sometime soon.

My Aloha Friday question was going to be: What is the longest that you’ve been away from your kids?

Considering that our vacation was cancelled, though, I’ll ask: Have you ever had to change your vacation plans due to weather?

Actually, why not answer both?

Don’t forget to enter my Hot Wheels Nitro Speeders giveaway!

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the linky there if you are participating.

Aloha #103

During NHL’s birthday party, my sister told a story of a trip she, her husband and her kids went on.  During the trip, she and her husband tried to keep their children hydrated, but the kids were refusing to drink water.  So they tried making it into a little game.  This worked well until one of the kids started telling grown-up that their parents played “drinking games” with them.

I began to wonder how a parent drinking game would work.  What would the rules be?  Take a shot every time Dora, Map or any other Dora the Explorer character repeats themselves?  Take a swig anytime you need to yell at your kids to stop fighting?  Take another drink anytime you clean a room only to find it messy again 30 seconds later?

Of course, drinking while parenting is probably not the best idea.  (Especially if you do shots during Dora the Explorer.)  So perhaps you could give yourself “parental drinking game credits” which could be redeemed once the kids are in bed.

My Aloha Friday question is: What rules would you add to the Parental Drinking Game?

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the linky there if you are participating.

Aloha #101

Most people who know me would say that I’m very even tempered.  Perhaps to a fault, even.  I can take abuse after abuse and keep my calm while trying to resolve the situation.  Indeed, if we’re ever in a situation where we need an even head, I’m the person who makes the call.  When we need someone to be forceful and perhaps even raise their voice a bit, B handles it.  (See?  We compliment each other’s talents nicely!)

However, I have a confession to make.  I actually have a very bad temper.  A horrible one, in fact.  The problem is, my temper doesn’t usually flare against people unless they are very close to me.

Growing up, I was bullied mercilessly, but I rarely lost my temper.  Meanwhile, my sister could make me blow my top with a single word or action.  She was so good at it that she made it into an art form.  She would do something to me designed to make me lose my temper.  I would blow my top and get physical (e.g. push her down).  She would cry to my parents.  They would see her down and me standing over her and I would get punished.  At the time, I thought it was horribly unfair.  It still is, but I understand it more now that I’m a parent.  When you have 2 kids with conflicting stories as to what happened, the best you can do is rely on what you have seen occur.

Later, my sister got married and moved out.  My father became the person who pushed my buttons.  In this case, he didn’t mean to do so.  It was just that I was living back at home after the freedom of college and was having trouble following the “it’s my house, you’ll do it this way” rules.  So we’d fight (verbally, rarely physically), not talk to each other for a week and then (spurred on by my mother who hates conflict) would make up just in time for the next fight to begin.

Once I moved away from my parents, we got along much better.  He’ll still get on my nerves from time to time, but not to the “I’m not talking to you for a week” level.  Now, the people close to me are my wife and my kids.

I’ve written before about how I get quiet during arguments with B.  This is primarily because of my temper.  If I talk while I’m upset and my temper flares, I’m likely to make sweeping generalizing statements that are highly hurtful and not true at all.  This will not only hurt my case (nothing shatters your argument more than a poorly thought out personal attack), but will hurt B’s feelings.  While it might feel better in the short term to rant and rave rather than hold back, it’s better in the long term to calm down before discussing sensitive topics.

That leaves the kids.  Ideally, I’d like to say that I keep an even temper at all times and never yell.  This isn’t an ideal world, though.  I try to keep an even temper and not yell, but lately it seems like the boys have conspired to push my temper to the brink.

First, NHL will refuse to do what we tell him to do and insist that things have to be done the way he wants them done, WHEN he wants them done.  Then, JSL, having just seen his brother get in trouble, will repeat his brother’s actions perfectly.  NHL will yell and scream while JSL will make mocking faces.  My blood starts to boil as I raise my voice telling them to behave.  Finally, I’m yelling outright at them and sending them to their room.

When they’re in their room and I’m calming down, I’ll get hit by a streak of guilt.  They’re testing boundaries and need to be given firm reminders of what is and isn’t appropriate, but I feel awful when I yell at them.  I *want* to be the fun loving parent who plays with them all the time and has a blast.  I don’t want to be the rule-setting parent who comes down hard on them if they decide to scream and try to run away from us in the middle of a store.  However, I have to be both.  It’s a tricky line to walk sometimes.

I definitely have room for improvement in not letting my temper get the best of me.  I’ve had success in the past with the “repeating things three times” method.  (Tell them once.  Say “Second time… [repeated message].”  Then say “THIRD TIME! [repeated message]. Do NOT make me repeat myself AGAIN!”)  I need to force myself to rely on methods like that more than yelling.

Do you ever find yourself losing your temper with your children?  What do you do when this happens?

Thanks to a bunch of last minute planning, we’ll soon be heading to Disney World.  This time, without the kids.  This will be our first time to Disney World sans kids since our honeymoon.  (Of course, we didn’t have children then, so it was easy to go by ourselves.)  In the short time that we’ve come up with the idea for this trip and planned it, I’ve had a weird mixture of emotions.

I feel happy at getting to spend a week with my wife without little guys interrupting.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love my boys.  It’s just that sometimes I want to spend time with my wife.  We get very few date nights and even fewer complete nights without kids.  Our only “vacation” without the kids was when we went to BlogHer last year.  That trip, while fun, was hardly a romantic getaway.  We’ve been married for 10 years and we deserve this time to ourselves.

While I’m feeling happy, though, I’m also feeling guilty.  After all, the kids love Disney.  Since we told them what we’re doing, they’ve alternated between begging to go and accepting it sadly.  If we announced tomorrow that it was all a cruel joke and they were coming with us, they’d be the happiest kids in the world.

Along with the guilt is fear.  Not just my fear of flying, but fear of the unknown.  We’ll be leaving the kids with my parents during the week.  My parents have never watched the kids for any length of time.  I’m sure they’ll do a good job, but my mind keeps conjuring up scenarios.  What if NHL has a panic attack?  What if JSL won’t eat anything?  What if the boys don’t behave?  Every less-than-perfect scenario is playing through my mind and it scares me.

Still, I know that we need this trip.  We need time away from the kids.  If we don’t get time off to work on us from time to time, the constant stress could negatively impact our marriage.  And a negatively impacted marriage is *NOT* going to raise our kids well.

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Have you gone on trips without your kids?  If so, have you ever felt this mixture of emotions?

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the linky there if you are participating.

Aloha #97

I’ve written before about feeling guilty, whether it is leaving for work, having a night out to myself or even just dedicating some time to me instead of putting everyone else in my family first.  Right now, I’m feeling a different sort of guilt.

You see, last month B and I celebrated our 10th anniversary.  For the past 8 years, though, we’ve only had one trip away from the kids: BlogHer 2010.  (Having the kids sleep at their grandparents for one night while we sleep at home less than a mile away and then get them first thing in the morning doesn’t count.)  Of course, BlogHer was fun, but it was very rushed and often B and I were going in different directions.  Not the kind of trip you go on to help rekindle those romantic sparks.

So we began to look into trips to take together.  Ten years seems like an appropriate length of time to have a Honeymoon Part 2 and we loved Honeymoon Part 1 so why not go to the same place: Disney World.

Now, I should note here that our plans are still very much up in the air.  We might wind up going to Disney.  We might wind up doing something else.  We might even scrap the whole “take a trip with just the two of us” idea entirely.  Still, the planning means that I’ve been thinking a lot about going to Disney World and leaving the kids behind (possibly in the care of my parents).

Here’s the guilty part.  Our kids love Disney World.  No, that doesn’t sound strong enough.  They ***LLLLOOOOVVVVEEEE*** Disney World.  JSL, on a nearly daily basis, asks when we’re going back there.  I can just imagine the screams of horror that will erupt when they find out that we’re headed to the home of Mickey Mouse without bringing them along.  There will be crying and screaming and guilt trips galore.

Part of me keeps saying “Why not bring the kids along?  They’ll love it!”  But, then I realize that we love Disney World too.  Why should their desire to see Disney World again trump our desire to have one “just the two of us” trip every ten years or so?  We’ve gone to Disney World every year for the past 3 years (once on a family trip and twice for Disney Social Media Moms).  The boys have gotten hooked, but we were hooked first.

There are things we’d love to do at Disney World that you just can’t do with little kids.  I’d love to go on the African Safari trek and some of the backstage tours.  I’d want to spend time lazily walking through the countries in Epcot while holding B’s hand without screams of “I’ve got to go potty” ringing in my ears.  I’d like to try some of the more upscale/romantic, less kid friendly restaurants.  I don’t want to spend every meal wondering whether JSL will eat anything other than Mac & Cheese or pizza today.  It will be wonderful to navigate through crowds without lugging a stroller and changes of kid clothes.

In short, as much as it is fun doing this:

I want to have a bit of time to do this:

Just please don’t tell NHL and JSL yet.  I’m still steeling myself for their response.

Today, over on TheAngelForever.com, B is recounting the story of her mom field trip with Christina from CutestKidEver to see Rene Syler (aka Good Enough Mother).  But what of the flip side?  What did the boys and I do while B went on her road trip?  Well, the boys and I had our own fun times.

As you may remember, I was undecided on whether or not I should go to Free Comic Day.  After B left, I made my decision: We were going.  I armed the kids with their Green Lantern rings from our Green Lantern party, got them into the car and headed over to Zombie Planet.

I had heard that the 501st, a group of Star Wars fans who dress up like Stormtroopers, would be there.  NHL was excited to see “costumes.”  Ever since Disney, he’s gone costume-crazy.  He must meet (and get his photo with) any costumed character who is anywhere near him.  He was not disappointed.

We got out of the car and there, in front of the store, was a single Stormtrooper.  He was joined by a Tusken Raider.

The Tusken Raider would occasionally make a growling sound (like the one that the movie Tusken Raider made as he stood over Luke Skywalker).  This scared NHL off from getting his photo taken with the Tusken Raider.  So we went indoors and proceeded upstairs to the free comics section.

Unlike last year, when it was “take as many as you like”, there was a 5 comic per person limit.  I had gone online the previous days to Free Comic Book Day’s website to see which comics would be available.  This meant that I knew just which comics were the best for my boys and which should be skipped.  The only complaints from the boys came when NHL looked out the window and spied Spider-Man.  He insisted that we *HAD* to go outside right now to meet the web slinger.

I explained to NHL that we needed to check out (even we had nothing that we were being charged for).  Besides, I had brought some Phineas and Ferb action figures that needed peg stands.  I hoped that the comic shop would be able to help.  (Sadly, they didn’t have what I needed.)

Finally, we left the comic shop and NHL immediately approached Spider-Man for a photo.

Then, I made a Geeky Daddy decision.  NHL was wearing a Green Lantern ring.  Green Lanterns Hal Jordon was supposedly “born without fear.”  So I couldn’t very well let him leave afraid of the Tusken Raider, could I?  I’d have been deducted 30 Geek Points!

I spoke with him about it and he finally agreed to get his photo taken.

After that, we headed home for lunch and some comic book reading.

Once the boys were fed, I decided that it was too nice of a day to be couped up indoors.  So we grabbed some of our colossal cannons and headed out to play.

Eventually, NHL had a bright idea.  His great-grandmother had given them some butterfly nets, but NHL thought they’d make great colossal cannon disc catching nets.  And they did!

Our next door neighbor’s daughter, N, also came over and played with the boys for quite awhile.  Eventually, they tired of chasing after green discs and wanted to play with bubbles.  Cue the Winnie the Pooh bubble blower!

They also wanted to play with chalk and I eventually relented.

I noticed the skies were getting dark and warned the boys that we might have to go inside soon.  Besides, B’s return time was getting closer and closer.

As B pulled up, I hurredly gathered the chalk and got the boys (and N) off our driveway.  The boys said goodbye to N and hello to B.  Then, as we walked in, the heavens opened up.  Perfect timing!

The boys and I had a fun day together and B had a nice Mommy Road Trip.  I’d call that a win all around!

Yesterday, I chronicled our journey through the body.  Along the way, I highlighted some pretty gross photographs that I took.  Becoming a parent has changed my life in many ones.  One of the biggest surprises was how my idea of what constitutes “gross” has shifted.

Back before we knew that B was pregnant for the first time, we did the “test the pee, see if you’re pregnant” test.  This particular test required B to pee in a cup and then hold the stick in the pee for a minute.  Since B had the job of actually peeing in the cup, it became my assigned task to hold the stick in the pee-cup.

Standing there, with a cup of urine in my hands, I felt wave after wave of nausea hit me.  The smell, sight and just plain idea of holding someone else’s pee make my stomach (and a few other internal organs) turn.  Luckily, I didn’t succumb to the nausea.  Even better, the test came out positive.

Fast forward a few years.  Did the idea of someone else’s pee in my hands disgust me?  Not at all.  In fact, I was quite comfortable relaying stories of the Day of the Seven Diaper Diaper Change (where NHL filled up diaper after diaper as quickly as we could change them) or of the Great Projective Pooping Incident (where his poop shot out 4 feet and then covered a span of rug stretching another 4 feet, timed right when we needed to head out to see a house).  I could even discuss these subjects in the middle of lunch (and be amused at the reactions of the non-parents within earshot).

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Has being a parent changed your definition of what “gross” is?

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the McLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha #82

“Sit Down.” “Clean Up Your Toys.” “Don’t Hit Your Brother/Sister.” “Don’t Put That There!” “How many times do I need to tell you…”

As most parents can attest, parenting can be a repetitive task.  You instruct your children to do something but, when the same situation arises soon afterwards, they don’t remember your instructions.  Instead, you need to repeat yourself.  Over and over again.

Every night for dinner, we go through the same routine.  I serve everyone their food and notice NHL is standing while eating.  He, apparently, hasn’t heard of this remarkable device that’s been invented recently called a chair.  He also doesn’t notice one right next to him.

“Sit down.” I tell him.  So he sits… with his legs pointing to the side.  This means that I can trip over his legs as I walk past and he isn’t facing the table.  The latter means crumbs on the rug.

“Put your feet facing forward,” I say.  So he complies.  Then he picks up a piece of food and eats it right over his lap.  I envision food falling down, missing his plate and the table and hitting his pants, the chair, the rug.

“Eat over the table,” I instruct.  So he does.  Until the next meal when we begin the cycle all over again.

I’ve joked about getting a sign made (and laminated) that I can just hold up.  After all, if I’m going to say the same thing over and over again, I’d like to spare my poor vocal cords.  I’ve even mocked up a sample.

During a Twitter conversation with slpowell, I mentioned this sign idea.  Then, re-reading slpowell’s original tweet that mentioned a “digital voice recorder”, I was struck by inspiration.  Instead of a printed sign (which is bulky and can only say one thing), how about one of those Staples Easy Buttons?  They only cost $5.50 at Staples and I recalled seeing instructions online as to how to hack them.

Of course, those required more work (and purchasing tools such as a Dremel) than I was willing to put into the project.  So I did the next thing that came to mind: Searched the web to see if anyone else was selling these.  Turns out, people are.  Here’s one shop that sells them for under $4.  (Shipping seems to be a flat rate of about $6.50 to me.)

Another intriguing option was this site that sells the buttons with the option of branding them.  As a bonus, this button comes with a strap (which can be used to hang the device in plain sight and yet out of the reach of little hands).  These cost $5 each.

I’m tempted to order a bunch with a “Parent Vocal Saver” logo on them and sell them online.  Would you buy such a device?

One of my great pleasures in life (besides my wife and kids) are comic strips.  I’ve been reading comic strips for as long as I can remember.  I used to get the paper as soon as I could, tear it apart until I could find the Funnies and pour over Peanuts, consume Calvin and Hobbes and get freaked out by the Far Side.  As the Internet took off, I sought out my favorite comic strips online.  At first, the pickings were slim but little by little the comics came online.

Then, I noticed something interesting.  Not only were the comics I knew and loved online, but a lot of other comics were online as well.  Comics with no large syndicates backing them were sprouting up left and right.  Some might have spoken to a niche, some might not have fit into your average newspaper and some were just too out there for the comics page.  Not all of them were good, of course, but many of them were.

I began following a lot of comics.  One of the newest ones that I’ve followed is called Noodle Knobs.  It features a mom, dad and a kid nicknamed “Noodle Knobs.”  Here’s the twist: The characters in the comic strip aren’t fictional.  In fact, the family is quite real.  The artist is the father (known on the site as The Daddy).  In addition to comics, NoodleKnobs also features a blog where The Mommy and The Daddy discuss (separately or together) various topics ranging from illness to kids toys to nicknames.

But today’s NoodleKnobs has a special place in my heart.  Why?  Because my boys and I are in it!  Yes, NoodleKnobs put out the call for parents to guest blog about their own NoodleKnobs.  I answered and that guest post runs today, along with a comic that The Daddy drew.  The teaser above is a shot of JSL meant to whet your appetite.  Is it whetted yet?  Then head on over to NoodleKnobs.com to read my guest post and see the full comic!