Excitement With The Boys Euphamism-Style
Before I begin, I must warn you that I’m testing out the new Euphamism-inator Turbo 3000. This post will contain references to some pretty dirty activities but, these references will be masked with something a little more palatable. I think I’ll set it to "Star Trek." While it warms up, let me set the scene.
On Sunday, I decided to spend time with the boys and give B some time off. First, I needed some supplies for an upcoming Cooking With TechyDad series. While B went with her parents to shop for dresses (for BlogHer and an upcoming wedding), I took my shopping buddies to Price Chopper. We had a great time getting everything on our list (and a few things not on the list).
At one point, we smelled a heavenly smell and followed our noses to the Price Chopper bakery. There we saw some wonderful looking breads. As we examined which ones we might like, one of the bakers came over and handed the boys a slice of bread each. As they devoured their slices, we picked out a loaf of Tuscan bread, finished our shopping and headed home to put the refrigerated and frozen foods away.
After putting the food away, I noticed that… wait a second, it looks like the Euphamism-inator Turbo 3000 is warmed up. Perfect timing. I’ll switch it on now. As I was saying, I noticed that Ensign JSL was standing by the airlock. Now his main reactor hadn’t ejected its core in a few days so we had injected an agent specially designed for easing such jobs. It was clearly working so I let things proceed. Then suddenly, Ensign JSL sounded a red alert. We had a class 2 core breach.
I sprang into action and accessed the situation. Ensign JSL was clearly contaminated as was his uniform and the bulkhead below him. I quickly brought Ensign JSL to Decontamination Area 1 for further assessment and cleaning. There, I determined that this was too big a job for Decontamination Area 1. I did the best I could there, securing his uniform for further decontamination later, and moved him to Decontamination Area 2. Here, I pressed Sub-Lieutenant NHL into service. He retrieved a post-decontamination drying apparatus while I thoroughly removed any trace of core breach contaminant from Ensign JSL.
With Ensign JSL cleaned (and a fresh uniform retrieved), I turned my attention to the bulkhead. There was quite a bit of core breach contamination here. I searched, found an appropriate cleaning solution and removed as much as possible. Then, I instructed the Ensign and Sub-Lieutenant to avoid touching that bulkhead. Finally, I cleaned the Ensign’s contaminated uniform as best as possible and prepared it for decontamination that only the Uniform Waching Apparatus could provide.
[Sparks fly from the Euphamism-inator Turbo 3000 and it shuts down.]
Oh dear. I think that the Euphamism-inator Turbo 3000 needs some repairs. Well, it lasted through most of the story, at least, and the part of the story that I most needed it for. At this point, I packed the boys up and we went to Buca de Beppo to meet B for lunch. And that was my exciting half-day with the boys.
That’s the best poop in the pants story I’ve heard in months! :o)
.-= RobMonroe´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – At the Park with Daddy =-.
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