Dear Kid Saturday: Pause The Rush

Dear NHL,

Too often, I feels like we’re always yelling at you to do things.  We’re rushing to get things done with all the worries and concerns of our adult world weighing on our minds.  You’ve grown up so much now that you are in second grade and are so smart that it is easy to forget that you are just a kid.  Much of the world is still a mystery to you.  Mysteries can be fun and exciting, but they can also be scary and terrifying.

A few days ago, your mother went to a PTA meeting.  While she was gone, you, JSL and I went out to eat at Dunkin’ Donuts.  We came home with 25 Munchkins for dessert, but you didn’t get any that night.  You kept not listening to me and doing the opposite of what I told you.  As I gave you chance after chance to earn dessert, you seemed determined to blow it each time and then try to win it back by showing remorse.

After having you sit in your room for a few minutes, I did something that I haven’t done in far too long.  Something that I want to make more time to do more often in the future.  I sat down on your bed with you and talked, father to son.  We talked about things that make you nervous in school.  Things that frighten you.  Things that go on in your head.

I calmed you down a few times as you got anxious talking about these things.  It’s good to get them out.  Trust me, I know.  I’m the master of bottling up your anxious feelings and it does *NOT* feel good to do so.  They’ll just fester in there and make you feel worse until you want to find a quiet, dark spot to cry in.

Keeping things bottled up doesn’t solve anything.  Your mother and I are here to talk with you any time you want.  Though it might not seem like it when we’re yelling at you to get dressed because we’re running late and you’re watching TV half out of your PJs, we’re on your side.  If you’re having trouble with something or someone at school, we want to know.  We can’t work to fix it if we don’t know.  While I can’t guarantee that we can fix everything that worries you, we promise that we will try our best.

So let’s make these father-son talks a regular event.  I’ll pause my adult world worries and just focus in on you.  We’ll go into your room, lie down on your bed, shut the door if you want, and talk about whatever worries you.  Above all, know that I love you and just want the best for you.

 Love,

Daddy

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