Aloha Friday: Meeting In Person at #BlogHer10

While at BlogHer 2010, there was a small list of people that I wanted to meet. It wasn’t really formal, written out, or set in stone, but more of a general mental list. Three names were prominent on it, though: Dadarocks (aka Adam Cohen), KissMyKitty (aka Jenn) and AnissaMayhew (aka… well, I guess she’s self-explanatory).

I’ve worked with Adam in the creation and running of DadRevolution, but had never met him in person. I was able to remedy this at the Ralph Lauren party and again at Sparklecorn.


I’ve worked with Jenn during my Eden Fantasys review. I got to meet her just before the "Bringing Sex Out Of The Closet" session. Prior to this, we almost met a few times but always just missed each other. It was quite the meeting as we discussed "presents" I should buy my wife. I later saw her at the Eden Fantasys "decorating" party and at Sparklecorn.


I’ve followed Anissa’s husband, and later her, from her stroke through to the present day. I even got to see her three times during BlogHer. Each time, I saw her though, my mind went blank. I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out what I was going to say. To keep from completely embarassing myself, I just walked by. Note: This wasn’t due to anything Anissa did or said. A lot of other people went up and talked to her and I never saw her being anything but gracious. I just had a mental freezeup and didn’t know what to say.

Luckily, I met a lot of the people on my mental list and a lot of people who I hadn’t planned to meet pre-BlogHer. I’m now following a lot more people on Twitter, made some great connections, and have a stack of business cards to go through. (I will go through those! I promise!)

My Aloha Friday question for today is: Have you ever been at a loss for words when you saw someone you really wanted to meet and talk to in person? How did you handle this?

Thanks to Kailani at An Island Life for starting this fun for Friday. Please be sure to head over to her blog to say hello and sign the MckLinky there if you are participating.

Aloha Friday by Kailani at An Island Life

Aloha #51

Solid Exterior… Crumbling Within

Long ago, I learned the fine art of presenting a solid exterior to the world.  I was bullied relentlessly and any emotions I showed regarding this only brought more bullying upon me.  So I clammed up.  I hid my pain and anger from the world (except for my closest friend) and pretended as if I were a brick wall.  No matter how much I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me, I made it look like I was the most solid person in the room.  Or, at least, I tried my best to make it seem that way.

In college, all I wanted was to be "normal."  Everyone around me was dating so I wanted to date.  I had no idea how to go about this so I clumsily made my way through those four years with a solid exterior/crumbling within.  Every person holding hands, every quick kiss in the hallway, every conversation about significant others chipped away at me inside.  I had a few breakdowns, a few times when I let my crumbling exterior show, but I would erect a new "solid exterior" the first chance I got.

Fast forward to the present day.  As I posted on, NHL has been diagnosed with some behavioral issues.  We strongly believe that I share these issues.  In other words, he inherited them from me.  Add this to the growing list of "Ways I’ve Screwed Up My Son’s Life Through Genetics."  Intellectually, I know this isn’t my fault.  It’s not like I said "Hey, here’s this bad gene, let’s send that on to the baby.  Here’s a good gene, we’ll hold that back."  Still, I find myself blaming myself for all of this.

Going back to the bullying.  I always figured that it was a quirk of circumstance.  Kids bullied me and so I became an introvert and so kids bullied me more.  But what if it was the other way around?  What if I was introverted because of these behavioral issues and *THEN* kids picked up on it and bullied me?  It might seem like a small technicality, but it is huge to me.

If it was the first one, a quirk of circumstances, then NHL stands a fighting chance of not being bullied like I was.  Of not going through the living hell that I went through day after day after day.  If, instead, it is all traceable to behavioral issues, which NHL has inherited from me, I may have genetically doomed him to the same torture I encountered.  I still feel pain thinking about high school, even though I graduated 17 years ago.  How can I not feel some pain at dooming him to this same fate?

And yet, even now, I put up that solid exterior.  I’m a brick wall, able to take anything thrown at me, at least that’s how I like the world to see me… until I come crumbling down.

It’s time for a Revolution!

Grab the torches and pitchforks… It’s time for a revolution!  Ok, maybe not *that* kind of revolution.  (You in the back, please extinguish that torch.)  This is a virtual revolution.

For a long time, dads were regarded as parenting jokes.  Who’s the guy who’s clueless about everything kid related?  Who wouldn’t know what to do with a stinky baby and a fresh diaper?  Who would scratch his head over anything cooking related that didn’t involve a microwave, grill or ordering out?  Yup, that’s dad!  Who’s the guy who drives mom crazy by lounging on the couch in his underpants watching football and drinking beer while she takes care of everything around the house?  Dad!  Who couldn’t care less about the fact that the kids are climbing on the bookshelf so long as they don’t knock it over until the commercial break?  (All together now…) DAD! » Read more